Darkness Before the Dawn: Part Two
February 20, 2009
Filed under 12 Step Program, Apologetics, Christianity, Conversion, Discipleship, Gospel, Grace, Issues in Transformation, Jesus, Jesus' Teaching, Paul's Teachings, Personal Discipline, Personal Renewal, Self-Control, Sin, Spiritual Formation, Spirituality
Tags: 12 Step Program, Broken Nature, Christianity, Discipleship, Sin, Step One, Step Two
Mick Turner
God accepts us and blesses us. So, why is it that many of us have trouble fully accepting this free gift of grace? Why is it that a significant number of God’s family displays such a negative mindset? Why is it that church pews are often filled with people wearing either plastic smiles or, even worse, displaying such a sour countenance that visitors might think these folks had been baptized in vinegar instead of water?
Perhaps the problem stems from the fact that many of us, deep down in our spiritual hearts, just don’t believe that we have really been accepted. If we are among that number, our situation is such that we are actually rejecting the very gospel we proclaim.
A renowned Christian theologian, I think it was Paul Tillich, once said that the key to the whole Christian gospel was the fact that we are accepted by God. In fact, he went on to say that the way to appropriate God’s grace was to accept that we are accepted. I am no theologian and, at best, possess a second or third rate mind. But I am capable of comprehending the truth of this statement. We cannot begin the spiritual journey as outlined by Christ until we accept the gift of grace. And the most fundamental aspect of accepting God’s offer is to accept that we are accepted. Yet many Christians don’t seem to get this point. In fact, in their broken, weak state they can’t fathom that they are in any way acceptable to God. Something is wrong here. Very wrong.
The crown jewel in the center of the Christian message is that the lowliest, neediest, and most broken people are accepted if they have faith in Christ. Just take a look at the kind of people he chose to hang out with when he was on earth. He associated with thieves, lepers, tax-collectors, prostitutes, cripples, paupers, and even a woman married five times. It now strikes me as absurd to think that I, even with my hang-ups, sins, shortcomings, and defects of character, am beyond the loving pale of God’s grace. However, many people both within and outside the church feel they are unworthy of God’s grace and thus reject the gift that was designed for them in the first place.
Consider the familiar story of the Prodigal Son as told by Christ in the fifteenth chapter of Luke. We are so familiar with this tale of a wasted life saved through love and redemption than we often loose the impact that it should have on our lives. Especially if we are wastrels and rogues like the wandering Prodigal. Perhaps more than any other passage in Scripture, the parable of the youngest son of a wealthy landowner illustrates the incomprehensible, counter-intuitive love of God. Brennan Manning speaks succinctly about the Prodigal in all of us and God’s incredible acceptance:
“When the prodigal limped home from his lengthy binge of waste and wandering, boozing, and womanizing, his motives were mixed at best. He said to himself, “How many of my father’s paid servants have more food than they want, and here am I dying of Hunger! I will leave this place and go to my father”. (Luke: 15:17-18). The ragamuffin stomach was not churning with compunction because he had broken his father’s heart. He stumbled home simply to survive. His sojourn in a far country had left him bankrupt. The days of wine and roses had left him dazed and disillusioned. The wine soured and the roses withered. His declaration of independence had reaped an unexpected harvest: not freedom, joy, new life but bondage, gloom, and a brush with death. His fair-weather friends had shifted their allegiance when his piggy bank emptied. Disenchanted with life, the wastrel weaved his way home, not from a burning desire to see his father, but just to stay alive.”
Yet even with these mixed motives, borne as much from desperation as from contrition, the wastrel was accepted by his father and a celebration ensued. Of course it is best if we respond to God’s offer with a pure, contrite heart and full acknowledgement of our failure and powerlessness. Yet how many of us are actually capable of this? Not many I suspect. I know I am not. But God accepts our response to his offer in spite of our conflicted hearts and spirits. In fact, if one is to believe what Christ teaches in the parable of the Prodigal, then he in accepts our desperation just as much as he accepts our repentance. This is truly “radical grace.”
So what is our response to what God has done? What are we to do if we truly and sincerely want to partake of God’s marvelous offer to accept us, love us and empower us to be better people? What are we to do if we genuinely desire to become Children of the Light? First, we should deeply reflect on just what it is that God has done through Christ and what He is continuing to do through the ongoing ministry of the Holy Spirit. Brendan Manning again puts it in cogent and moving words:
“We should be astonished at the goodness of God, stunned that he should bother to call us by name, our mouths wide open at his love, bewildered that at this very moment we are standing on holy ground.”
Just how do we go about accepting this radical offer made by God? We just accept it. It is really that simple. There is no great mystery here, no elaborate initiation rites, no secret oaths or pledges. We just accept it because God offers it. We accept it on faith and leave God to work out the details and understanding later. The comfort we find in accepting God’s love comes after faith, never before it. Remember, it all begins with and hinges on faith.
Christians seem to have an uncanny knack for taking simple truths and complicating them through debate, dogma, and doctrine. The “Doctrine of Grace” is one thing; the reality of God’s grace is quite another. It is freely offered to all who would humble themselves enough to receive it. I suspect that each of us has his or her own way of resisting God’s grace. Some of us, as mentioned above, feel we don’t deserve it; some of us are too prideful, feeling that we can fix ourselves on our own; others think the concept of grace is just too simplistic. Whatever our reasons for struggling with this basic Christian principle, until we resolve our conflict, we will not advance very far on the spiritual journey.
I can attest to this fact from my own experience. Paul says that the idea of “Christ crucified” as the means of salvation would be foolishness to the Greeks. Well, for many years it was foolishness to me. I much preferred the complexity of Buddhism and Hinduism, or the sanity of New Thought. Still, somewhere down in the pit of my being, the Hound of Heaven was chewing on me. God was unrelenting in his pursuit of me and I, like Jonah, headed for the hills more than once. Still, God’s grace kept surrounding me and I could not escape. In fact, I came to treasure the comforting feeling of being surrounded by God. Finally, I accepted that I was accepted.
Once I stopped running; once my struggles with God came to a halt, it was like a whole panorama of spiritual reality opened before my eyes, including a deep sense of optimism and hope. As a result, I began to view the world, including its problems and pain, with a greater degree of compassion and a genuine desire for healing involvement.
With the help of the Holy Spirit, I came to understand at a deeper level that I was in fact accepted. Accepted in my weakness because this is where the strength of Christ is seen. Accepted in my brokenness because this is where the healing of Christ is seen. Accepted in my faithlessness because this is where the fidelity of Christ is seen. Accepted in my wandering in the wilderness because this is where Christ’s true and stable mansions are eventually discovered.
As epidemic as this notion that we are undeserving of God’s grace and his willingness to restore us to more whole and healthy functioning is, there is another reason people do not change that is equally prevalent. In order to actually change your life you have to genuinely want to. You see my friend, many people say they want to change, but they actually don’t mean it. They may even think they mean it, but they are only fooling themselves. The minute the going gets rough, these folks bail out faster than you can say, “Maybe things weren’t that bad after all.” Once these folks get a good whiff of the personal sacrifices often required in any program of transformation they hit their haunches faster than a Mississippi donkey.
Many years ago I worked as a counselor in an inpatient psychiatric facility. I recall one patient in particular who was a good example of what I am getting at here. We’ll call her Bessie, although that was not her real name. Bessie had been admitted to the facility at least eight times that I knew of. No matter what therapeutic interventions her doctors tried, she always reverted back to her problematic way of dealing with the world, which involved a combination of prescription medication, alcohol, and frequent violent explosions.
Bessie had been a patient of just about every psychiatrist in town at one time or the other, but the results were always the same. Bessie reverted back to being, well, Bessie.
At one point a new, young doctor came on staff and took over Bessie’s case. He tried a number of new things with Bessie and she at least seemed to be making some changes. Unfortunately, one day while in the hospital she manifested her old behavior. She reached over the nurses’ station and grabbed two medical charts and smashed them against the wall. She then began jumping up and down on them while ripping her clothes off and screaming at the top of her lungs. All of this happened just after she noticed her young doctor get off the elevator. While only clad in her underpants (Bessie was in her 70’s mind you, and more than a few pounds overweight), she started running in circles around her physician while telling him the following:
“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re up to, Buddy,” yelled Bessie in a loud, cackling voice. “I figured it all out last night. You’re trying to change me, aren’t you? Well, I’m here to tell you it ain’t gonna work.”
Granted, many of those who resist change are not as dramatic as Bessie in their behavior or their lack of desire for personal transformation. Still, the results are always about the same. Like Bessie, there is little lasting change. Bessie’s story and the stories of many like her share one thing in common: the stated desire for change was illusory.
The simple fact is if change is to happen in your life, you have to truly desire it. Like anything of value in life, change begins with desire. I repeat:
Every positive accomplishment begins as a desire in the mind of the individual. Desire is the initial force that gives birth to our dreams and it is desire that motivates us to achieve those dreams. All great things begin with positive desire.
I encourage you to begin with an honest, gut-level assessment of your desire to change. You have to ask yourself, “Is my desire for change genuine? Am I willing to, if necessary, make personal sacrifices in order to reach my desired goal of personal transformation?” If you answer these questions in the negative, that’s ok. It just means you are not yet ready to change yourself and your life. If this is the case, my suggestion is for you to pray to God, asking him to impart to you a willingness to change. Be sensitive to anything the Lord may be trying to communicate to you regarding change and/or willingness to change. Keep a journal and write down any insights or messages that may come to you. Go back later and reflect on what you have written, pray about it, and see what happens next. Even the unwillingness to change can be an avenue through which the Holy Spirit can help you to grow spiritually.
If you conduct an honest, thorough assessment of your desire to change and you discern that it is genuine, it is time to take the next step. You need to begin, through prayer and planning, to set goals for personal change and make specific plans for how this transformation might be facilitated. Enjoy where you are at that moment, because you are on your way to becoming a better version of yourself. Keep in mind that as you grow, you are increasingly able to realize the divine potential that God has placed inside you. You are more and more able to discern your strengths of character and put those very strengths into practice where it really counts, your everyday life. And one more thing, do it all for the glory of God. Like Jesus, your ultimate goal in personal change is to increasingly put yourself in a condition where you can glorify God.
Doing so was a big part of Christ’s mission on earth; and it is equally a big part of yours.
(c) L.D. Turner 2009/ All Rights Reserved
Darkness Before the Dawn: Part One
February 17, 2009
Filed under 12 Step Program, Christianity, Conversion, Discipleship, Issues in Transformation, Jesus, Jesus' Teaching, Paul's Teachings, Personal Renewal, Positive Living, Prayer, Scripture, Sin, Spiritual Disciplines, Spiritual Formation, Spiritual Practices, Spirituality, Step One, Step Two, Trusting God
Tags: 12 Step Program, Christianity, Life Change, Recovery Issues, Spiritual Formation, Step One, Step Two
Mick Turner
The journey of personal transformation more often than not begins in significant pain. I know many of you might disagree with this statement and for all I know, you may be right. All I can say is that in my own case, in that of a significant number of my dear friends, and certainly in the lives of many of the people I have counseled over the years, the real pilgrimage of spiritual transformation truly commences when we scream from deep in the pit of our stomach, “Good God, I can’t take this anymore.”
In order for many of us to become teachable, we have to be driven to the point to where we realize that maybe, just maybe, we are not nearly as clever as we thought.
First, we must admit the reality of our own broken nature. We must come to that point of awareness, whether driven by intense spiritual longing or our own personal sense of pain and desperation, that we are operating at less than optimum capacity. By this I mean we must realize, with the fullness of our being, that something about us is broken. Once having done this, we can then move on to the second realization regarding our broken selves. We cannot fix ourselves! True, with great effort and diligence, we can improve ourselves. We can develop our capacities but left to our own devices, we cannot fix ourselves. Something is fundamentally wrong deep within all of us. Something dark and deadly, something beyond our understanding lurks in each and every one of us. Somehow we know intuitively that whatever this personal demon is, it is the source of our misery.
Much of the root of our problem and the darkness referred to in the paragraph above comes from our obsession with self. “What’s in it for me?” has become the singular question for several generations now. A.W. Tozer speaks to this issue and the problems that float in its wake:
There is within the human heart a tough fibrous root of fallen life whose nature is to possess, always to possess. It covets ‘things’ with a deep and fierce passion. The pronouns ‘my’ and ‘mine’ look innocent enough in print, but their constant and universal use is significant. They express the real nature of the old Adamic man better than a thousand volumes of theology could do… The roots of our hearts have grown down into things, and we dare not pull up one rootlet lest we die. Things have become necessary to us, a development never originally intended. God’s gifts now take the place of God, and the whole course of nature is upset by the monstrous substitution……..Our woes began when God was forced out of His central shrine and ‘things’ were allowed to enter. Within the human heart ‘things’ have taken over. Men have now by nature no peace within their heart, for God is crowned there no longer, but there in the moral dusk stubborn and aggressive usurpers fight among themselves for first place on the throne.
Bob George puts it another way, straight to the point:
Jesus Christ says he came to give life. What kind person needs life? The answer was obvious: only the dead……….From God’s point of view, the problem with man is not just that he is a sinner in need of forgiveness; his greater problem is that he is dead and in need of life.
Bob George is telling us the ultimate truth that the Bible shouts from almost every page. We are for all practically purposes, spiritually dead. Coming to realize this fact is part of the solution to our dilemma, but that is another subject for another time. Our focus right now is on our broken nature and how it, in some ways at least, can be our dear friend. Our fundamentally deceased spirit can be a blessing when and if it drives us to such a point of desperation that remaining as we are is no longer a workable option. Our pain is our greatest teacher when and if it takes us to the point surrender. Erwin Raphael McManus, one of my favorite authors, gives a clear description of this place we come to where transformation is our only option:
No one can force this on you, nor can it be anyone else’s ambition for your life. It has to come from within you. Sometimes it takes a menagerie of different experiences to bring us to it. Some of us will insist on going through tremendous pain, disappointment, and failure before we come to it. Eventually we have to be able to look at ourselves in the mirror and decide there’s someone else that we want to see there. But everyone who’s going to make this particular trek has to pass through the same gauntlet that has brought me and so many others to that place where in the deafening silence we hear the cry of our own soul screaming, “I want to change!”
Anyone who has been brought low by this type of personal angst and came out of it on the spiritual path can understand the old adage that say, “It is darkest just before the dawn.”
I worked for many years in the field of alcoholism/addiction treatment and prevention. Time after time I saw successful programs of recovery begin when the afflicted person was, as they often said, “sick and tired of being sick and tired.” These words reflect a deep, real, and lasting desire for change. We don’t have to be addicted to alcohol or drugs to reach a similar point.
I don’t know about your life, but I can attest that in my own I reached a point of absolute confusion in terms of my spiritual life. Although my spirituality was the most important part of my life, I often managed to think myself into a corner and this eventually began to wear me down. Like I said, I was confused, overwhelmed, and hopeless. Left to my own devices, I truly believed I might end up insane or if not that, at least profoundly depressed and isolated. And it is precisely at this point that the answer began to appear, at first like a very dim point of light.
I am convinced that when we reach our own personal threshold of discomfort, we are then ripe for transformation. That threshold may be different for different people but in most cases, although painful, this sense of desperation can be a doorway into a life that is blessed beyond anything you thought possible. The key is that you have to step across that threshold and into a new way of living. For many of us, this is a highly threatening process.
Step Two in the Twelve Step Program utilized by AA and many other self-help groups states: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. It is this second step that provides us with a sense of hope. It implies that restoration is possible and that there is a power that will help us with that restoration.
As comforting as Step Two is, for many it becomes a major stumbling block. The most often cited problem centers on the fact that many people grapple with the notion of a “power greater than ourselves.” For Christians, however, this is not the issue. As believers in Christ we have no problems accepting the existence of a Higher Power and we are given ample evidence in scripture that this power is able and willing to heal us.
Christians run into difficulty here, usually for one of two reasons. First, we may feel that God is able to heal people of any malady, but we also may have the mistaken notion that he will not heal us. After all, we tend to think that our sins, shortcomings, and defects of character are worse than most. Yes, the Master may indeed heal Joe Six Pack down the street from me, but he won’t heal me because I am really a mess!
Basically, we convince ourselves that healing is possible for everyone but “me.”
(to be continued)
© L.D. Turner 2009/ All Rights Reserved